Crafty Little Devil

It's been about three weeks since I last blogged. I'm sorry I haven't been in contact but sometimes you just need to take time for yourself. I am about to start taking a class at the New Orleans school of glassworks. It is a class that is going to teach me about Precious Metals Clay. This clay when fired turns into 99% silver. It will be another skill I will be able to use in my art of jewelry making. Amidst deciding to take that I also have cleaned out my room. I've thrown away things that once meant something and now have no meaning at all. I've gone through my papers and mt movies and just about everything. It makes me feel a sense of renewal in myself. While I was going through it I decided that I also wanted to rearrange my room. I feel like I'm starting over. Fall is just around the corner and I'm trying to get everything in orderand feel more organized in my own life. Sometimes it is just time.

I've realized that most of my life has been spent being upset about the way people treat me and so therefore I go to other people for advice....looking for approval. Lately I've been tired of it...I hate being the complainer or the whiny bitch...which is some of the reason I've not been writing...but I feel like I have nothing to talk about and therefore very silly...I've been over bearing to people, not meaning to be it's just my motherly nature. I NEVER want people to feel bad, and I think part of it is because I feel bad about myself much of the time...it's time for me to learn things about myself but I don't know where to start....for twenty-three years I've been looking for other peoples approval but the only approval that matters is my own. But how, after twenty three years do you learn things about yourself...it's not very easy...I have learned that I am a good person at heart...I may have my moments but I like helping people, creating things makes me happy and giving people things I've created makes me feel good, but it's time I give myself something creative or learn how to do something new instead of just giving my creativity away...I have learned that I'm afraid to take risks. Over the next few weeks I may be posting some strange blogs, but it may be things that I'm learning about myself...I honestly couldn't tell you a lot of the things that I like because I've conformed to my surroundings. I've loved things because often, other people have loved them...I don't know that much about music...I don't know that much aboutbooks, I can tell you howeverI love car rides...often by myself....I didn't think I liked alone time but I know I like to get in my car and drive around the city...just passing places that remind me often of good things and sometimes bad...it's like healing for me. I roll down my windows smoke a cigarette, I'll listen to certain CD's they don't necessescarily reflect my mood and some times they do but my favorites to listen to are the Ramones, Hedwig, Sarah McLachlan, Queens of the Stone Age, Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, Dave Matthews, and some mix cd's I have. So I guess there are somethings I know about myself....but I have to go deeper...one step at a time.

So lets see this week I'm house and dog sitting....and I've enjoyed it thoroughly. It was time for a vacation even if it was in the bywater. I needed to get away from my family and be closer to my theatre family. Although I haven't seen that much of anyone I just feel happier in the bywater. It's really time for me to be on my own. It's just a matter of having the money to do it, and possibly having someone to move in with. Anyone looking for a room mate?

WOW...over a month and I haven't written anything. I would like all of you to know it's not personal. I've just been so busy with work and the show and all....I promise I'll be back very soon.

The newest on the car situation....I STILL don't have it...frustration has truly set in. I was supposed to get my car back today....unfortunately that wasn't the case. It's probably not going to be ready until tomorrow. I just hope I can survive one more day. I have to get out of my house tonight. I'm ready for my live to get back to normal...everything has been thrown up in the air for me. It's been one thing or another for the last 2 months or so and all I want to do is get back on track. It's not just the car thing but a lot of things. I'm going through a period of my life where I don't quite know what I want but I have to make do with what I have.

R.I.P. Hideout.

It makes me sad...last night apparently was the last night of the Hideout. Unfortunately I didn't find out about it until I read it on a friends site. I knew it was on its way and hopefully they'll find a new space. It really makes me sad that all of the fun places in New Orleans seem to have been closing. Maybe it's the fact that Mayor Nagin wants to do what Giuliani did for New York and turn the quarter into DisneyLand. I would like to say that the quarter will NEVER be that...there will always be someone being risque in this city. It seems to me that the country and the world is beginning to go through puritanical phase...it has happened throughout history and it always seems to be when people are scared. In the 50's and 60's it was the cold war, the threat of nuclear war, and now we have war again and it seems that people are such god fearing folk that because we have been "impure people" that is why we're going to war. and they'll be able to save themselves and everyone else if they "clean up"...babies let me tell you...it has nothing to do with "impurities" it's everything to do with government and money.

A couple of months ago I joined the Friendster revolution. Friendster is a site where you invite your friends to join a community where they will have their own profile. On your site you would see your profile and pictures of your friends and the descriptions your friends have about you, called testimonials. Then they can invite their other friends to be on it, and they tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and pretty soon everyone is connected to everyone else. I have 21 friends and connected to 75,000 people. It is amazingly addictive. Unfortunately, with its infectious quality they have amassed such a following that you can no longer retrieve the site. Friendster is a lot of fun and I suggest it in meeting new people and meeting your friends friends. If you go to it however, it says "Friendster is currently experiencing heavy site traffic, please try again in five minutes" Five minutes never comes...hopefully they'll get on the ball and it will be fixed soon.

Scuttle you will be missed.

Rate Me on BlogHop.com!








help?

Rain Rain go away come again some other day....Ok so It's been raining for the last 20 hours and I'm going stir crazy I'm still without a car...luckily I will have it tomorrow....and I have SOOOO much going on. Since April 20th I've been without a personal car. Last week my mothers car that we were sharing killed which means we were surviving barely off of my Dad's truck. Freaking out for two days because I had too much going on in my life and lots and lots of places to go and no car. Friday I went to work and Saturday was work and my mothers retirement dinner. When I got into the car on Friday I asked my Dad if he was still interested in buying a car he was looking at for me. He said no and then I asked him if he was still thinking about buying my Mom a CR-V and he said no I already bought it. So tomorrow I will officially get the Acura. I would have gotten it today but it was raining and my Dad was at work. I cant even believe I'm going to have a car again.

So congratulations to all of my gay friends for being able to do your gay thing legally :) and to all the other people who just like funky butt sex congrats too. I think the actual announcement is probably what killed Strom Thurman. It somewhat disturbs me, the reaction that I've heard from some people. For the most part I've heard nothing but hoorays until today. With all of the rain I headed to my local craft store where I encountered a woman preaching her beliefs. She worked there and as I turned the corner I heard her say..."In the bible Jesus destroyed Sodom and Gamorrah and this decision is wrong and they will be judged...they will burn in hell" First of all Jesus didn't destroy Sodom and Gamorrah second of all I hope when she leaves she turns into a pilar of salt.